My former abuser went to buy a gun. He only failed to pick it up after the background check because he knew he would use it - to kill me. It was the only decision he made that seemed to put me first. But, in hindsight, I think he knew he’d get caught if he killed me. So he likely would have been punished. Instead, he continued to beat me inside my hairline. I eventually got away but allowing abusers to have guns will absolutely lead to more deaths of women. We ARE second class citizens here in the United States. It keeps being thrown in our faces even by our Supreme Court.
I'm a retired Licensed Social Worker and even when studying some 50+ years ago for my Masters, a Law Class I took blindsided me when I kept studying laws that made it clear that a convicted criminal did more time for armed robbery than for murder! 50+ years ago it was almost all men who were convicted of these crimes! This was a deep southern state (RED of course)! The DA taught the class. I was stunned that no one questioned that! So of course I did! The other students mostly hadn't noticed!!! The DA, a Democrat, said yes that was the law and he wasn't proud of it. But he also said of the few times he'd taught the class before no one ever asked him about it and therefore he'd never had to face a class and say murders of human beings (and assaults on women) all had lesser penalties (timed served before parole eligibility) than most property crimes! And this was long before carrying guns became the accepted way of life for far too many people! America had a lot of progress to make then. It has much more now because groups have erased what progress we made and added guns to the mix!!! It's sickening, disheartening and disgusting!
There has got to be a way to educate our young. Too many boys are shooting and killing their Mothers just because. One young man killed his Mother because he didn't want to do what she asked. One young man killed his mother because she took his phone. More insanity. Are these young boys being taught to respect women. Let us not speak about the 6 year old that shot his teacher. No respect for women. Some of the musical lyrics are hate against women. Some teenagers are having women and men names to own them. Hum sounds like branding of slaves to me. So the movies are not helping . Take the movies that show violence against women off. Take the music off the stations, videos showing violence against women is unacceptable. We are not bitches and whores. This all must stop.
Social-emotional learning curricula exists. It’s designed to help children & youth develop emotional intelligence and social skills, like impulse control, empathy, and emotional self-regulation. DeSantis has conflated SEL under the anti-CRT banner--following Rufo’s playbook--and called for SEL to be removed from FL curriculum.
You might be surprised to know that the Army TRADOC (training command) revised the entire JROTC curriculum to include SEL learning objectives. It’s an excellent program and could be used throughout schools to help kids learn critical thinking and to develop socio-emotional intelligence.
Winning Colors, for example, helps very young children to understand personality differences and different types of personal strengths. Taxpayer $$ paid for that program; we should be able to use it anywhere, in any school.
I absolutely agree. Sadly in my southern red state (even with a Democratic Governor) it never gets past the State House and Senate! We have ranked voting and usually end up with 2 GQP running against each other. (We only have a Democratic Governor because our last Republican Governor was SO bad that the Republicans voted for the Democrat or stayed home. He was very moderate and won a second term which unfortunately is up.) At least he got to veto a few things! We're about to go into Florida's pit unless there's a major change! We also need to register more Democrats. I'm a retired senior (77) on a fixed income but I give what little I can to Groups who register, especially Gen Z. They have the same priorities I do!
A unified America could counter this. That is why the geeks on the right try so hard to obscure and distort the truth in favor of greed. Nothing will change until America becomes a unified nation.
It’s a reference to Qanon, that set of elected officials who have trafficked in the conspiracy theories put out by Q. Not sure the 2nd Amendment / public safety controversy has been much of a topic for Q and his/her followers, but perhaps it has. Did they ever figure out who Q is? It’s weird to me that we don’t have a name yet, but I may have missed it.
It has been said Q was started by one man and his son. They later fled to the Philippines to avoid scrutiny but still spread crazy theories. I read an article on them a couple of years ago but do not remember the source.
What we’re missing in the bigger picture is that we the people are breeding monsters. Why is there a need for background checks but for the fact that the monsters are all over our society?👺
I hear you and am sure genetics are involved in sociopathy. Early childhood experiences have outsized effect, too, I think. Early childhood development is not my area of expertise, nor genetics. I’m not a clinician, either (meaning, I don’t study pathology, having seen quite a bit too much of it). My focus is on positive adult development. Including post-traumatic growth.
Absolutely no question that the way a child is raised is by far the most important thing in how a person turns out. I was fascinated when I learned, many years ago, that there is a genetic component -- because that means a person probably has a double whammy if the sociopathic parent doesn't abandon the baby/child: he then has the genes + the damaged early childhood environment. Re your work: I'm sure that you are able to be immensely empathic and helpful in your work with people with traumatic histories.
Plus, how many mothers fed their babies the Free Similac Infant Formula? In New Port News, Virginia, they call the neighborhood where the children lives, who are now in Juvenile Detention, Similac kids. Given to poor families free of charge. Yes, whole neighborhoods of children of color. Let us not forget about the women and men on drugs and conceived a child or children. I hear they are called Crack babies that grow up in juvenile, to jails, and then prisons. These individuals need help and not incarceration. Mental health facilities needed. Well run, non-violent, run by doctors and not Nun's. 250,000 youth are tried, sentenced, or incarcerated as adults here in the USA and most tried as adults. Really?
What is really going on is the question? Each year? So, that makes how many children in adult facilities? Unconscionable!
Agreed! Incremental improvement is progress. Have to create the conditions within which change can occur. Naming one condition essential to the current context: elect more Democrats.
celeste, I'm responding to the person who said that we need to deal with the monstrous kids who use the guns. I responded that we have to get the guns out, and THEN deal with the social problems behind the killers. Of course there are also monsters at that top of the eating chain, as well -- i.e., Congress.
Well, take the guns away from the white Neo-Nazis, White hate groups, the hate group members in Law Enforcement, and the nuts first. Oh, let me not forget the White militias who are planning for war.
I say, I agree, with one thing, take their guns first. Let us learn from the genocide in Germany when Hitler ordered the taking of guns and then started shooting, killing, putting Jewish people in Concentration Camps, taking their children, burning children alive in furnaces and more, only after these misguided individuals guns, grenades, chemical labs, and the leaders of these groups are in prison should any guns be taken from Americans. End the war we are in now.
If they don't get conscripted into a war, maybe we can hope they get into a gangland fight and eliminate each other so we can live in a safer place afterwords.
I used to live in a cultic group and I remember thinking that “if only Vic would die, we could get on with creating what we really set out to create here.” Hope is not a strategy. They never die conveniently. Look at Trump. I’ve been sincerely hoping he’d keel over for years now.
Well…. that depends on how they could use them, I am sorry to say.
The military, like law enforcement, attracts an entire range of people, including sociopaths and psychopaths. In some units and environments being either is considered a plus, encouraged by training, even celebrated and rewarded with promotions and put to use in combat. An example - Eddie Gallagher. (I highly recommend the book Code Over Country: The Tragedy and Corruption of SEAL Team Six by Matthew Cole.) Another example - Mike Flynn. The Army should have recalled Flynn when he began fomenting violence and encouraging a takeover of the government. It can legally recall him to active duty and then court martial him for those actions - all of which are crimes under our Constitution. But, so far, no.
Sociopaths, psychopaths, sexual predators, bigots, insurrectionists and so on absolutely should be weeded out but often aren’t.
Teaching reactions to anger. It use to be a fist fight. Now, it's a gun. Rage. Hum... more chemicals being sprayed on our streets to cause rage? The late Dr. Dick Gregory warned us before he died.
Glad you got away. We have a hideous thing here where they auction off a gun to "support" the domestic violence organization. Haven't seen it for a couple years but if I do I'm going to ask them not to accept the money. It's a haha this is funny donation. Also, our county has the highest DV rate in the state.
That is disgusting. As an IPV survivor, I’m deeply offended. Thank you for protesting. Every little bit counts. If they say they need the money, find out how much it is and message me. I’d probably replace the lost funds to get them to stop. I used to be poor, scared, and beaten down. Now I’m not.
Colleen, You survived Hell. I am so terribly sorry for those unbearable years you endured, and I'm so relieved to learn that you finally escaped. Agree 100% with what you say about allowing domestic abusers to buy guns is completely insane. And yes, this Supreme Court makes it ever more clear that women are not as important as men.
Colleen--that’s such a close call. I’m glad you’re OK and here chatting with us now. I’m familiar with the “above the hairline” strategy. Also, punching in the gut rather than the face, so no visible bruises or lacerations. I thought we’d made progress since the 80s, when I could not get a restraining order--even after being in the shelter, having already been assaulted. They said they can only limit his freedoms as a punishment for a crime committed; that the courts had no ability to constrain him in order to prevent a crime that had not occurred. My understanding was that restraining orders were pretty common now and also that a prior DV conviction would change the court’s view on whether visitation must occur.
What I am finding is that once a woman takes out a restraining order, some men accept and some get in rage. I believe the way to get out safely is the plan and move. Get away. Even if it means taking only what is needed. We can get more furniture and things, we can not get another you. I left and didn't let one living soul know where I was. Well, mistake I made was not changing my job. He followed me one day without me knowing. I had to take out a restraining order. Praise The Almighty he stopped. But not always. My suggestion. Move, change your job and start over.
Yes, I’d give the same advice. Move far away and don’t disclose where. I had just bought a house, would have taken a loss when I had no income or education, and thought keeping the boys in their home, going to the same school, would be the most stable approach. Best for them. We went through 10 years of ongoing stalking and custody battles. Which the court had to hear, even though he was living in homeless shelters and a trailer without a bathroom. Kids were forced to visit against their will. Even though he thought the older son, who came out gay, was possessed by the devil. And the dad gave me a tape with a story about a guy who literally chopped off his own kid’s head for that reason. I sent it to the judge and was told that “evidence” could not be sent in that way, directly to a judge. I had no money for a lawyer. You honestly cannot make this shit up, what happens. It’s really that bad. Or at least it was. Why I was hoping it had gotten better and have to believe it has, just to keep going and fighting against more injustice. The hope--or wishful thinking--is not to be complacent. It’s a literal need for hope that we are making progress in order to not slide back into learned helplessness.
Oh my goodness! I'm so very sorry that happened to you and your children. We must put more women in Congress. Men have run this country in the ground. Women that are Lawyers, smart, sharp, that plays chess please run for office. Start in your city and move up. Get these old white men out of Congress that have been misguided.
docpatti, That is a HORROR STORY!!! I had no idea that a woman whose life was in danger couldn't even get a RESTRAINING ORDER!!! That's criminal on the Court's part!
More women who understand must be elected to Congress. Well, no more Greene's, but women who will understand what we go through as a woman. We are not 2nd Class citizens. We too are made in the image of The Almighty. Men made the rules. We the people must make new, fair, equal rules for the people of the USA.
Your question, “Why did you stay?” is a common one for domestic violence targets. He didn’t start out as an abuser. They don’t. He started out as a charmer. He reeled me in. He knew how to listen closely and reflect back to me pretending to be the man I hoped he would be. I think I t’s how they all start. If he smacked me on our first date, I’d have written him off right then. But, over time, they become more comfortable being themselves after we’ve fallen for them. They tell stories of how they’ve been wronged in the past and slowly become controlling, and then verbally abusive and finally physically abusive. They apologize and say “It’ll never happen again.” They manipulate in every way they can.
Family courts don’t care if you’ve been hurt by your abuser. They give abusers unsupervised access to the children. It’s all messed up and a victim must weigh many factors, including their children’s safety before leaving.
I ask you to ponder, why do we not ask a man to his face why did you hurt her? If more abusers were shamed for their behavior, maybe we’d make progress.
I can promise you that it’s not as simple as walking away.
You are so right, Colleen. My X was a black belt. He use to walk around with a giant knife saying, "Till death do us part." Fear took over me. Not until I asked our Lord for help did I start to plan. The Lord ordered my steps. All glory goes to Him.
Take these words out of all wedding vowel. Create your own vowel.
You make it sound so easy. Do you have any idea what is going through that person's mind? What chances they'd have to take? What is available? If they've tried to? I have no idea what you're like, but you sound tone deaf!!!
This situation caused by the sophistic legal contortions of the federal judicial system using "Originalism" as the dominant legal paradigm at the Supreme Court is more than farcical - it is dangerous. The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%. 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female. About 5 people, both women and men, die every day as a result of domestic violence in the United States. Many children witnessing domestic violence develop toxic stress and trauma as much as if they were beaten themselves. The role of the courts is to protect citizens fairly and equally, not to abandon them for abstract principles which may have existed several centuries ago.
Thank you for the work you are doing now, in your "retirement". Those statistics need to be banner headlines on every newspaper in the country. They need to be banged into the heads of every Judge in the land, and most especially into the heads of the Judges on the Supreme Court who ignore reality.
Ar-15 lapel pins replacing the American flag pin. US high court giving explicit permission to dometic abusers to have as many firearms as they want. Well, no more doubt about Republican's HATRED of women (including Republican women).
My ex-husband abused me for years (in two different states) and oftentimes did so with a pistol in his hand. One night he held me up against the door with one hand around my throat (so I couldn't scream) and he had his gun to my temple with the other. My 12 year old son was behind him sobbing and begging him not to kill me.
I escaped the first time that night but not before he had me down on the ground outside with my face in the dirt, his knee in my back, firing his gun twice next to my ear and then immediately pressing into the back of my head behind my ear leaving a burn mark. I filed my first police report and included photos of the burn mark from the tip of the gun. That only resulted in my ex's Concealed Weapons Permit to be suspended. The abuse didn't stop.
After we moved to a different state, where they had different laws, he had a clean slate (this is why we need universal gun laws). No surprise that the abuse continued. Shooting holes into the floor and ceiling of our home, leaving bruises on my arms and legs, throwing random objects at me or against the wall was a weekly experience for me. Being held at gunpoint became his abuse of choice because it made him feel powerful.
Luckily, after eight years off hell, I was able to escape. But my ex is still out there in the world walking around with a 45 on his hip because it's his right? I'm so furious right now.
I am so very sorry that happened to you. My X worked for the Police Department. I had to find a way to save my life and the lives of my children. I planned. I acted. I got out alive. Now that was almost 50 years ago. I am glad that their are organizations that help save women's lives now. What I found is I didn't find my voice until I was 71. We must retrain girls, teens, and even some women to be independent. I allow one push. Okay game over. I don't allow yelling, game over.
I have not dated since 1996 and have no plans to. Well, the Lord would have to say, this one is for you. He would have to be an Earth Angel. I value peace, love and happiness.
One woman's husband hit her in the head with an iron. She refused to go to the Hospital. She refused to leave him. Why? she liked the life style. Horrible. We must trail our girls to be independent. !00% have their own. Have their own place. Their own. Depending on parents and not boys or men. We have so much to do. If not us, who?
Yeah. It’s hard to trust after shit like that goes down. It’s also weird to say (but true) that the abuse that I suffered was “not as bad” as what you went through. So-called feminists call me out for “putting up with it,” saying they never would have stood for even one slap. Sure. OK. You do you. It’s nice to feel superior. While doing nothing to actually help or change things.
I’m lucky. It took 16 years, but I did eventually remarry. He’s wonderful. Truly amazing guy, who listens, learns, tries to understand what is hard for him to imagine. We’re working together to create the life we want to live. Ongoing struggles, e.g., with the kids still needing to process things. Trauma, violence, abuse, neglect. The gifts that keep on giving, for a lifetime.
Your story absolutely breaks my heart, and provokes anger on a visceral level. To allow any person who has once physically abused another person to legally possess a gun is reprehensible. It feels like I have fallen down a rabbit hole, and I no longer recognize to world I am living in.
No, not at all. I asked The Almighty for help. He directed my steps. He saved me and my children. I remember years later he called and said that both children were sick and he was going to blow their brains out to take them out of their misery. I told him that I would pray for him. I did.
He did nothing. I never told my children. Not many years later he was sick and I told him I would pray for him. He said to me, please don't. The last time you prayed for me I ended up in the hospital. The Almighty showed up and showed out. Prayer works. I am living proof. I tell everyone that it is written what ever you ask for and believe you will get. Just be careful for what you pray for. hahahahahahahaha Thank you for your comment. Bless you!
I am literally shaking as I read about your horrific life, married to a Monster. I can only imagine what emotional hell you lived in. Without doubt, you must have PTSD. And for the police to DO NOTHING!!! That's almost as bad as what he DID. Thank God you are finally safe. My you be able to live the rest of your life in peace.
It’s as if the people have no power at all over these ‘bought and paid for’ justices. When did we cede all power to a corrupt set of extremists? Exactly what our founding fathers tried to protect us against. Beyond frustrating and outrageous. We need to find a way to stop this court overreach and I suspect the only way is to add to the size of the court while the Dems have a slim majority in the Senate. People are being massacred by assault weapons and the answer from the courts is to enable more massacres.
Increasing the court is one way to help. Adding term limits and an oversight group for ethical violations, one that has subpoena power, that has zero ties with the court would also help. But, Biden will never do any of this. A fair amount of the time he seems to live in the past where he thinks McConnell is “an honorable man” and McCarthy “a decent man” (Biden’s words). When he’s not praising those who are intent on taking over our government he’s a cut and dried corporate politician. I’m sick of those.
In the heels of today's intended mass shooting at a Target in Omaha, Nebraska, I learned that it's legal in Nebraska to carry an AK-47 in public. Absolutely INCREDIBLE. It's feeling more and more like Lebanon in the 1980's. I used to wonder how people could bear to live under such circumstances. I'm learning.
Open carry is legal in IN as well - and based on the assault rifles I saw a few years ago, those are either legal as open carry or the local sheriffs and police just didn’t care.
During the BLM protests the very small rural town where I live had a small BLM protest downtown one weekend. The protesters were a small group, organized, had posters and were willing to talk with anyone who had questions. A group of locals who decided their rights were being threatened by this completely legal and peaceful protest gathered across the street from the courthouse with their assault riles slung over their shoulders or across their knees, sitting on benches, their bicycles and a few Harleys. Every single one was a white man, overweight, scraggily bearded and wearing bandanas and sunglasses to hide behind. (Gravy SEALS.) Such a pathetic, sad group - yet, also incredibly potentially lethal. As a citizen and a veteran it really pissed me off seeing them carrying weapons designed to kill and main as many people as possible in as short a time as possible - especially since that “right” is due to our asinine laws that are paid for by the NRA and all the politicians and judges they own.
I saw a similar scene play out in not-so-rural NC. Great description of the folks who feel “threatened” by BLM protestors. Add confederate flags and you’d have the scene here down cold. In this case, the Hillsborough police ushered the armed “militiamen” away. So that was nice.
I forgot about the flags. Here there were the the usual Confederate flag (flags, t-shirts, license plates, belt buckles), also trump flags, flags with Black Guns Matter logos, and even black, “give no quarter” American flags (it means take no prisoners/kill them all). They fly on the back of jacked up pickups and motorcycles here and were present at the BLM protest.
I’m glad the police there did the right thing. You cannot count on the cops here doing that. They fancy themselves a black ops group, complete with heavy, black (with fully blacked out windows) SUVs with push bars. Many sport the fashy haircut.They took advantage of Bush’s program of militarizing police departments. The town of 12k actually has a SWAT van that you’d normally see in Chicago or New York City. A few months ago I was behind one of their SUVs and almost drove off the road when I noticed the Nazi lightning bolts symbol on the back door. (It was a magnet - an easy way to take your Nazi symbols to work I guess.)
Since IN went to open carry I am even more careful when out in public. Last week at a local store my hackles rose when a man came in wearing a 9mm stuffed into his pants. I kept him in my line of sight until he left. His attempt at looking like a badass failed spectacularly. First off, the pistol was stuffed into the belt of his pants, not a holster in a proper position but his pants and behind him (Hollywood style). He clearly had never had any training with firearms - or did and didn’t listen. It would have taken anyone 2 seconds to pass behind him and take that pistol. Or, maybe he’ll forget to remove it when getting back in his vehicle and shoot himself in the ass (garnering himself a Darwin Award). Or it’ll drop, hit the ground and go off, thus harming or killing someone else. Second, no one needs to carry a loaded weapon while running errands. No one. The stupidity and insanity in this country makes me despair. It seems we’ll never get our shit together - not here in America anyway.
What is good is it to have a legislature that wright and passes laws that protect public, if judges can turn around and play word games with us and overturn them. There are laws that are written, passed and signed into law, that should be overturned because they are harmful to the public, but when they clearly protect and defend the rights of people and their safety they should not be overturned. I am sick and tired of judges and justices playing politics. Perhaps having politicians nominate them is a bad idea. Who then? How about a panel of Constitutional scholars and experts? Approved unanimously by a group of Constitutional lawyers? Something than what we are doing now, because you know what it isn't working, and it isn't working because they are nominated by the President and approved by elected officials who may or may not vote party line. There are many processes, policies and procedures that really need to be looked at and revised.
I wish we had an edit button. I am going to keep posting this until the damn lie, that we have a right to bear arms is stopped. "U.S. Supreme Court Justice Warren Burger once said, "The gun lobby's interpretation of the Second Amendment is one of the greatest pieces of fraud, I repeat the word fraud, on the American people by special interest groups that I have ever seen in my lifetime."
Get the money out of politics! A Corporation is NOT a person and a rich person, or group of rich people, should not be able to buy a Congressional Seat! It would be a start except the rich politicians and judges (including those on our once supreme, now extreme court) would stop it!
They've worked to hard to buy their political seats!!!
First, I cannot imagine the fortitude of Kagan, Sotomayor and Brown Jackson! They sit on this Supreme Court surrounded by pharisaic reactionaries who are causing the US untold damage, and deaths. Lady Justices, you have my profound admiration. It must be so hard!
Second, Guns kill. That’s it. Duh. That’s why they were created. The 2nd amendment was about nation founding militias, not giving free reign to shoot whatever whenever with whatever assault rifle. These sanctimonious Justices are evil.
Then, of course, it is a person’s right to walk by a Supreme Court justice’s home with an AK 47 whether or not he or she ever threatened the justice? Does the Supreme Court justice have more righted than a previously beaten and threatened spouse? Has America lost its collective mind?
How many lives have been saved by citizens (not military) with semiautomatic assault weapons? How many have died or been seriously wounded by citizens with assault weapons? Is that what the writers of the Constitution envisioned? Help me here: show me any article about a citizen protecting others with an assault weapon.
My former abuser went to buy a gun. He only failed to pick it up after the background check because he knew he would use it - to kill me. It was the only decision he made that seemed to put me first. But, in hindsight, I think he knew he’d get caught if he killed me. So he likely would have been punished. Instead, he continued to beat me inside my hairline. I eventually got away but allowing abusers to have guns will absolutely lead to more deaths of women. We ARE second class citizens here in the United States. It keeps being thrown in our faces even by our Supreme Court.
I'm a retired Licensed Social Worker and even when studying some 50+ years ago for my Masters, a Law Class I took blindsided me when I kept studying laws that made it clear that a convicted criminal did more time for armed robbery than for murder! 50+ years ago it was almost all men who were convicted of these crimes! This was a deep southern state (RED of course)! The DA taught the class. I was stunned that no one questioned that! So of course I did! The other students mostly hadn't noticed!!! The DA, a Democrat, said yes that was the law and he wasn't proud of it. But he also said of the few times he'd taught the class before no one ever asked him about it and therefore he'd never had to face a class and say murders of human beings (and assaults on women) all had lesser penalties (timed served before parole eligibility) than most property crimes! And this was long before carrying guns became the accepted way of life for far too many people! America had a lot of progress to make then. It has much more now because groups have erased what progress we made and added guns to the mix!!! It's sickening, disheartening and disgusting!
There has got to be a way to educate our young. Too many boys are shooting and killing their Mothers just because. One young man killed his Mother because he didn't want to do what she asked. One young man killed his mother because she took his phone. More insanity. Are these young boys being taught to respect women. Let us not speak about the 6 year old that shot his teacher. No respect for women. Some of the musical lyrics are hate against women. Some teenagers are having women and men names to own them. Hum sounds like branding of slaves to me. So the movies are not helping . Take the movies that show violence against women off. Take the music off the stations, videos showing violence against women is unacceptable. We are not bitches and whores. This all must stop.
Social-emotional learning curricula exists. It’s designed to help children & youth develop emotional intelligence and social skills, like impulse control, empathy, and emotional self-regulation. DeSantis has conflated SEL under the anti-CRT banner--following Rufo’s playbook--and called for SEL to be removed from FL curriculum.
You might be surprised to know that the Army TRADOC (training command) revised the entire JROTC curriculum to include SEL learning objectives. It’s an excellent program and could be used throughout schools to help kids learn critical thinking and to develop socio-emotional intelligence.
Winning Colors, for example, helps very young children to understand personality differences and different types of personal strengths. Taxpayer $$ paid for that program; we should be able to use it anywhere, in any school.
http://sites.isdschools.org/hselectives_jrotc/useruploads/leadership_dev4/Thursday_21_May_Davis_Appreciating_Diversity.pdf
I absolutely agree. Sadly in my southern red state (even with a Democratic Governor) it never gets past the State House and Senate! We have ranked voting and usually end up with 2 GQP running against each other. (We only have a Democratic Governor because our last Republican Governor was SO bad that the Republicans voted for the Democrat or stayed home. He was very moderate and won a second term which unfortunately is up.) At least he got to veto a few things! We're about to go into Florida's pit unless there's a major change! We also need to register more Democrats. I'm a retired senior (77) on a fixed income but I give what little I can to Groups who register, especially Gen Z. They have the same priorities I do!
Joyce Marie Hand: "Games" and Internet platforms also!
Absolutely!!!
I don't think some of my grandchildren know the difference from fantasy and reality sometimes.
Take away the guns, first!!!
It’s everything you said and then some. Will we ever learn to value human life above other things? All humans should be valued equally.
A unified America could counter this. That is why the geeks on the right try so hard to obscure and distort the truth in favor of greed. Nothing will change until America becomes a unified nation.
I agree.
I am sorry that happened to you. Why does the gqp think women are property to be controlled?
Yes, they do.
My ex has a saying he thinks is hilarious … and true. “Once a wife always property”.
Yes, he is an avowed trump cultist & republican.
Glad to hear you’ve moved on. Sounds like you’re doing well. I’m glad.
UGH!!! So glad to hear that he's an EX.
I am glad he is out of your life now. This was wrong on so many levels.
Gas up your car and get out!
Of the marriage? Already did that. Now there’s a continent between us. Thankfully.
That is why marriage is an antiquated proposition. It could be a contract that has to be renewed once a year or so.
Until the old white men mentality phases into the new generations to come.
gqp????
It’s a reference to Qanon, that set of elected officials who have trafficked in the conspiracy theories put out by Q. Not sure the 2nd Amendment / public safety controversy has been much of a topic for Q and his/her followers, but perhaps it has. Did they ever figure out who Q is? It’s weird to me that we don’t have a name yet, but I may have missed it.
It has been said Q was started by one man and his son. They later fled to the Philippines to avoid scrutiny but still spread crazy theories. I read an article on them a couple of years ago but do not remember the source.
Maybe it's a new name for the evil one.
Yes the GQP!!!
What is the gqp?
GOP (Grand Ol' Party)=Republican party. Substitute Q for O= Grand QAnon Party. At least that's how I read it.
Grand QAnonParty! I never would have thought of that!
I asked the same question. So far no one has answered it. I cringe at cutesy acronyms that only a select few understand. Confuses communication.
Some teenagers believe so. Who is teaching this bad behavior?
Kasumii's ex is a good example.
What we’re missing in the bigger picture is that we the people are breeding monsters. Why is there a need for background checks but for the fact that the monsters are all over our society?👺
Maybe socializing is more apt than breeding, Steve. The babies are fine when they first arrive. :)
doctatti, Interestingly, it appears that there may be some genetics involved with sociopathy. Having said that, you are right!
I hear you and am sure genetics are involved in sociopathy. Early childhood experiences have outsized effect, too, I think. Early childhood development is not my area of expertise, nor genetics. I’m not a clinician, either (meaning, I don’t study pathology, having seen quite a bit too much of it). My focus is on positive adult development. Including post-traumatic growth.
Absolutely no question that the way a child is raised is by far the most important thing in how a person turns out. I was fascinated when I learned, many years ago, that there is a genetic component -- because that means a person probably has a double whammy if the sociopathic parent doesn't abandon the baby/child: he then has the genes + the damaged early childhood environment. Re your work: I'm sure that you are able to be immensely empathic and helpful in your work with people with traumatic histories.
Plus, how many mothers fed their babies the Free Similac Infant Formula? In New Port News, Virginia, they call the neighborhood where the children lives, who are now in Juvenile Detention, Similac kids. Given to poor families free of charge. Yes, whole neighborhoods of children of color. Let us not forget about the women and men on drugs and conceived a child or children. I hear they are called Crack babies that grow up in juvenile, to jails, and then prisons. These individuals need help and not incarceration. Mental health facilities needed. Well run, non-violent, run by doctors and not Nun's. 250,000 youth are tried, sentenced, or incarcerated as adults here in the USA and most tried as adults. Really?
What is really going on is the question? Each year? So, that makes how many children in adult facilities? Unconscionable!
Let's get the guns out first. THEN we can figure out how to deal with the monsters.
Agreed! Incremental improvement is progress. Have to create the conditions within which change can occur. Naming one condition essential to the current context: elect more Democrats.
It's the monsters that allow the guns.
celeste, I'm responding to the person who said that we need to deal with the monstrous kids who use the guns. I responded that we have to get the guns out, and THEN deal with the social problems behind the killers. Of course there are also monsters at that top of the eating chain, as well -- i.e., Congress.
I see. You are so right. The problem is multifaceted, and no so simple as i made it sound.
If only it were...
Well, take the guns away from the white Neo-Nazis, White hate groups, the hate group members in Law Enforcement, and the nuts first. Oh, let me not forget the White militias who are planning for war.
I say, I agree, with one thing, take their guns first. Let us learn from the genocide in Germany when Hitler ordered the taking of guns and then started shooting, killing, putting Jewish people in Concentration Camps, taking their children, burning children alive in furnaces and more, only after these misguided individuals guns, grenades, chemical labs, and the leaders of these groups are in prison should any guns be taken from Americans. End the war we are in now.
If they don't get conscripted into a war, maybe we can hope they get into a gangland fight and eliminate each other so we can live in a safer place afterwords.
I used to live in a cultic group and I remember thinking that “if only Vic would die, we could get on with creating what we really set out to create here.” Hope is not a strategy. They never die conveniently. Look at Trump. I’ve been sincerely hoping he’d keel over for years now.
The military does not want young psychopaths in the ranks!
Well…. that depends on how they could use them, I am sorry to say.
The military, like law enforcement, attracts an entire range of people, including sociopaths and psychopaths. In some units and environments being either is considered a plus, encouraged by training, even celebrated and rewarded with promotions and put to use in combat. An example - Eddie Gallagher. (I highly recommend the book Code Over Country: The Tragedy and Corruption of SEAL Team Six by Matthew Cole.) Another example - Mike Flynn. The Army should have recalled Flynn when he began fomenting violence and encouraging a takeover of the government. It can legally recall him to active duty and then court martial him for those actions - all of which are crimes under our Constitution. But, so far, no.
Sociopaths, psychopaths, sexual predators, bigots, insurrectionists and so on absolutely should be weeded out but often aren’t.
You are correct.
That's for sure.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha
Teaching reactions to anger. It use to be a fist fight. Now, it's a gun. Rage. Hum... more chemicals being sprayed on our streets to cause rage? The late Dr. Dick Gregory warned us before he died.
Glad you got away. We have a hideous thing here where they auction off a gun to "support" the domestic violence organization. Haven't seen it for a couple years but if I do I'm going to ask them not to accept the money. It's a haha this is funny donation. Also, our county has the highest DV rate in the state.
That is disgusting. As an IPV survivor, I’m deeply offended. Thank you for protesting. Every little bit counts. If they say they need the money, find out how much it is and message me. I’d probably replace the lost funds to get them to stop. I used to be poor, scared, and beaten down. Now I’m not.
docpatti, Wonderful!
KathyintheWallowas, WTF??!!!
Colleen, You survived Hell. I am so terribly sorry for those unbearable years you endured, and I'm so relieved to learn that you finally escaped. Agree 100% with what you say about allowing domestic abusers to buy guns is completely insane. And yes, this Supreme Court makes it ever more clear that women are not as important as men.
Colleen--that’s such a close call. I’m glad you’re OK and here chatting with us now. I’m familiar with the “above the hairline” strategy. Also, punching in the gut rather than the face, so no visible bruises or lacerations. I thought we’d made progress since the 80s, when I could not get a restraining order--even after being in the shelter, having already been assaulted. They said they can only limit his freedoms as a punishment for a crime committed; that the courts had no ability to constrain him in order to prevent a crime that had not occurred. My understanding was that restraining orders were pretty common now and also that a prior DV conviction would change the court’s view on whether visitation must occur.
What I am finding is that once a woman takes out a restraining order, some men accept and some get in rage. I believe the way to get out safely is the plan and move. Get away. Even if it means taking only what is needed. We can get more furniture and things, we can not get another you. I left and didn't let one living soul know where I was. Well, mistake I made was not changing my job. He followed me one day without me knowing. I had to take out a restraining order. Praise The Almighty he stopped. But not always. My suggestion. Move, change your job and start over.
Yes, I’d give the same advice. Move far away and don’t disclose where. I had just bought a house, would have taken a loss when I had no income or education, and thought keeping the boys in their home, going to the same school, would be the most stable approach. Best for them. We went through 10 years of ongoing stalking and custody battles. Which the court had to hear, even though he was living in homeless shelters and a trailer without a bathroom. Kids were forced to visit against their will. Even though he thought the older son, who came out gay, was possessed by the devil. And the dad gave me a tape with a story about a guy who literally chopped off his own kid’s head for that reason. I sent it to the judge and was told that “evidence” could not be sent in that way, directly to a judge. I had no money for a lawyer. You honestly cannot make this shit up, what happens. It’s really that bad. Or at least it was. Why I was hoping it had gotten better and have to believe it has, just to keep going and fighting against more injustice. The hope--or wishful thinking--is not to be complacent. It’s a literal need for hope that we are making progress in order to not slide back into learned helplessness.
Oh my goodness! I'm so very sorry that happened to you and your children. We must put more women in Congress. Men have run this country in the ground. Women that are Lawyers, smart, sharp, that plays chess please run for office. Start in your city and move up. Get these old white men out of Congress that have been misguided.
Your story is one of complete horror for you and your children. I am happy you survived.
Joyce Marie Hand, I'm glad that you were able to get away, alive!
Oh, thank you! You are the first person who ever said that to me. Bless you!
I just pray that other women and men can be assisted by my story and get out alive.
docpatti, That is a HORROR STORY!!! I had no idea that a woman whose life was in danger couldn't even get a RESTRAINING ORDER!!! That's criminal on the Court's part!
More women who understand must be elected to Congress. Well, no more Greene's, but women who will understand what we go through as a woman. We are not 2nd Class citizens. We too are made in the image of The Almighty. Men made the rules. We the people must make new, fair, equal rules for the people of the USA.
Whew! You are one very brave woman!
I weep for you.
Well said.
Yeah. They all seem to know about that "inside the hairline" method.
Why did you stay. You could have gone into some program for oritection.
Your question, “Why did you stay?” is a common one for domestic violence targets. He didn’t start out as an abuser. They don’t. He started out as a charmer. He reeled me in. He knew how to listen closely and reflect back to me pretending to be the man I hoped he would be. I think I t’s how they all start. If he smacked me on our first date, I’d have written him off right then. But, over time, they become more comfortable being themselves after we’ve fallen for them. They tell stories of how they’ve been wronged in the past and slowly become controlling, and then verbally abusive and finally physically abusive. They apologize and say “It’ll never happen again.” They manipulate in every way they can.
Family courts don’t care if you’ve been hurt by your abuser. They give abusers unsupervised access to the children. It’s all messed up and a victim must weigh many factors, including their children’s safety before leaving.
I ask you to ponder, why do we not ask a man to his face why did you hurt her? If more abusers were shamed for their behavior, maybe we’d make progress.
I can promise you that it’s not as simple as walking away.
You are so right, Colleen. My X was a black belt. He use to walk around with a giant knife saying, "Till death do us part." Fear took over me. Not until I asked our Lord for help did I start to plan. The Lord ordered my steps. All glory goes to Him.
Take these words out of all wedding vowel. Create your own vowel.
Why did you not try to get into a safe situation away from him?
Eventually, I did.
So happy for you.
You make it sound so easy. Do you have any idea what is going through that person's mind? What chances they'd have to take? What is available? If they've tried to? I have no idea what you're like, but you sound tone deaf!!!
This reply was to Totone, just to clarify.
This situation caused by the sophistic legal contortions of the federal judicial system using "Originalism" as the dominant legal paradigm at the Supreme Court is more than farcical - it is dangerous. The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%. 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female. About 5 people, both women and men, die every day as a result of domestic violence in the United States. Many children witnessing domestic violence develop toxic stress and trauma as much as if they were beaten themselves. The role of the courts is to protect citizens fairly and equally, not to abandon them for abstract principles which may have existed several centuries ago.
Thank you for the work you are doing now, in your "retirement". Those statistics need to be banner headlines on every newspaper in the country. They need to be banged into the heads of every Judge in the land, and most especially into the heads of the Judges on the Supreme Court who ignore reality.
Thank you for these stats and succinct statement of a horrid problem.
Ar-15 lapel pins replacing the American flag pin. US high court giving explicit permission to dometic abusers to have as many firearms as they want. Well, no more doubt about Republican's HATRED of women (including Republican women).
They don't have to hate Republican women, they already hate themselves.
I see it.
My ex-husband abused me for years (in two different states) and oftentimes did so with a pistol in his hand. One night he held me up against the door with one hand around my throat (so I couldn't scream) and he had his gun to my temple with the other. My 12 year old son was behind him sobbing and begging him not to kill me.
I escaped the first time that night but not before he had me down on the ground outside with my face in the dirt, his knee in my back, firing his gun twice next to my ear and then immediately pressing into the back of my head behind my ear leaving a burn mark. I filed my first police report and included photos of the burn mark from the tip of the gun. That only resulted in my ex's Concealed Weapons Permit to be suspended. The abuse didn't stop.
After we moved to a different state, where they had different laws, he had a clean slate (this is why we need universal gun laws). No surprise that the abuse continued. Shooting holes into the floor and ceiling of our home, leaving bruises on my arms and legs, throwing random objects at me or against the wall was a weekly experience for me. Being held at gunpoint became his abuse of choice because it made him feel powerful.
Luckily, after eight years off hell, I was able to escape. But my ex is still out there in the world walking around with a 45 on his hip because it's his right? I'm so furious right now.
I’m so sad that you and your son had to endure such pain. The trauma echos in your words. Please take care...
I am so very sorry that happened to you. My X worked for the Police Department. I had to find a way to save my life and the lives of my children. I planned. I acted. I got out alive. Now that was almost 50 years ago. I am glad that their are organizations that help save women's lives now. What I found is I didn't find my voice until I was 71. We must retrain girls, teens, and even some women to be independent. I allow one push. Okay game over. I don't allow yelling, game over.
I have not dated since 1996 and have no plans to. Well, the Lord would have to say, this one is for you. He would have to be an Earth Angel. I value peace, love and happiness.
One woman's husband hit her in the head with an iron. She refused to go to the Hospital. She refused to leave him. Why? she liked the life style. Horrible. We must trail our girls to be independent. !00% have their own. Have their own place. Their own. Depending on parents and not boys or men. We have so much to do. If not us, who?
Yeah. It’s hard to trust after shit like that goes down. It’s also weird to say (but true) that the abuse that I suffered was “not as bad” as what you went through. So-called feminists call me out for “putting up with it,” saying they never would have stood for even one slap. Sure. OK. You do you. It’s nice to feel superior. While doing nothing to actually help or change things.
I’m lucky. It took 16 years, but I did eventually remarry. He’s wonderful. Truly amazing guy, who listens, learns, tries to understand what is hard for him to imagine. We’re working together to create the life we want to live. Ongoing struggles, e.g., with the kids still needing to process things. Trauma, violence, abuse, neglect. The gifts that keep on giving, for a lifetime.
Your story absolutely breaks my heart, and provokes anger on a visceral level. To allow any person who has once physically abused another person to legally possess a gun is reprehensible. It feels like I have fallen down a rabbit hole, and I no longer recognize to world I am living in.
Hugs to you and your son.
I can not imagine your restraint to not get his gun as he slept and killed him. You were strong.
No, not at all. I asked The Almighty for help. He directed my steps. He saved me and my children. I remember years later he called and said that both children were sick and he was going to blow their brains out to take them out of their misery. I told him that I would pray for him. I did.
He did nothing. I never told my children. Not many years later he was sick and I told him I would pray for him. He said to me, please don't. The last time you prayed for me I ended up in the hospital. The Almighty showed up and showed out. Prayer works. I am living proof. I tell everyone that it is written what ever you ask for and believe you will get. Just be careful for what you pray for. hahahahahahahaha Thank you for your comment. Bless you!
I am literally shaking as I read about your horrific life, married to a Monster. I can only imagine what emotional hell you lived in. Without doubt, you must have PTSD. And for the police to DO NOTHING!!! That's almost as bad as what he DID. Thank God you are finally safe. My you be able to live the rest of your life in peace.
It’s as if the people have no power at all over these ‘bought and paid for’ justices. When did we cede all power to a corrupt set of extremists? Exactly what our founding fathers tried to protect us against. Beyond frustrating and outrageous. We need to find a way to stop this court overreach and I suspect the only way is to add to the size of the court while the Dems have a slim majority in the Senate. People are being massacred by assault weapons and the answer from the courts is to enable more massacres.
Increasing the court is one way to help. Adding term limits and an oversight group for ethical violations, one that has subpoena power, that has zero ties with the court would also help. But, Biden will never do any of this. A fair amount of the time he seems to live in the past where he thinks McConnell is “an honorable man” and McCarthy “a decent man” (Biden’s words). When he’s not praising those who are intent on taking over our government he’s a cut and dried corporate politician. I’m sick of those.
In the heels of today's intended mass shooting at a Target in Omaha, Nebraska, I learned that it's legal in Nebraska to carry an AK-47 in public. Absolutely INCREDIBLE. It's feeling more and more like Lebanon in the 1980's. I used to wonder how people could bear to live under such circumstances. I'm learning.
Open carry is legal in IN as well - and based on the assault rifles I saw a few years ago, those are either legal as open carry or the local sheriffs and police just didn’t care.
During the BLM protests the very small rural town where I live had a small BLM protest downtown one weekend. The protesters were a small group, organized, had posters and were willing to talk with anyone who had questions. A group of locals who decided their rights were being threatened by this completely legal and peaceful protest gathered across the street from the courthouse with their assault riles slung over their shoulders or across their knees, sitting on benches, their bicycles and a few Harleys. Every single one was a white man, overweight, scraggily bearded and wearing bandanas and sunglasses to hide behind. (Gravy SEALS.) Such a pathetic, sad group - yet, also incredibly potentially lethal. As a citizen and a veteran it really pissed me off seeing them carrying weapons designed to kill and main as many people as possible in as short a time as possible - especially since that “right” is due to our asinine laws that are paid for by the NRA and all the politicians and judges they own.
I saw a similar scene play out in not-so-rural NC. Great description of the folks who feel “threatened” by BLM protestors. Add confederate flags and you’d have the scene here down cold. In this case, the Hillsborough police ushered the armed “militiamen” away. So that was nice.
I forgot about the flags. Here there were the the usual Confederate flag (flags, t-shirts, license plates, belt buckles), also trump flags, flags with Black Guns Matter logos, and even black, “give no quarter” American flags (it means take no prisoners/kill them all). They fly on the back of jacked up pickups and motorcycles here and were present at the BLM protest.
I’m glad the police there did the right thing. You cannot count on the cops here doing that. They fancy themselves a black ops group, complete with heavy, black (with fully blacked out windows) SUVs with push bars. Many sport the fashy haircut.They took advantage of Bush’s program of militarizing police departments. The town of 12k actually has a SWAT van that you’d normally see in Chicago or New York City. A few months ago I was behind one of their SUVs and almost drove off the road when I noticed the Nazi lightning bolts symbol on the back door. (It was a magnet - an easy way to take your Nazi symbols to work I guess.)
Is there ANY other country in the world where this is considered legal and OK to do??
I don’t know.
Since IN went to open carry I am even more careful when out in public. Last week at a local store my hackles rose when a man came in wearing a 9mm stuffed into his pants. I kept him in my line of sight until he left. His attempt at looking like a badass failed spectacularly. First off, the pistol was stuffed into the belt of his pants, not a holster in a proper position but his pants and behind him (Hollywood style). He clearly had never had any training with firearms - or did and didn’t listen. It would have taken anyone 2 seconds to pass behind him and take that pistol. Or, maybe he’ll forget to remove it when getting back in his vehicle and shoot himself in the ass (garnering himself a Darwin Award). Or it’ll drop, hit the ground and go off, thus harming or killing someone else. Second, no one needs to carry a loaded weapon while running errands. No one. The stupidity and insanity in this country makes me despair. It seems we’ll never get our shit together - not here in America anyway.
Your last two sentences: yes. I share your despair.
I'm trying not to scream.
Me too.
I'm trying not to throw up.
his Court is hardly Supreme
It is a nightmare instead of a dream
It took away a right we held dear
And women are suffering but hell do they care
And now can we take the subject of guns
What the court has done simply does stun
And with the wife of Clarence an election denier
And three of the judges known liars
How tragic these nine have been a source of pain
I wish that we could from here the swamp drain
What is good is it to have a legislature that wright and passes laws that protect public, if judges can turn around and play word games with us and overturn them. There are laws that are written, passed and signed into law, that should be overturned because they are harmful to the public, but when they clearly protect and defend the rights of people and their safety they should not be overturned. I am sick and tired of judges and justices playing politics. Perhaps having politicians nominate them is a bad idea. Who then? How about a panel of Constitutional scholars and experts? Approved unanimously by a group of Constitutional lawyers? Something than what we are doing now, because you know what it isn't working, and it isn't working because they are nominated by the President and approved by elected officials who may or may not vote party line. There are many processes, policies and procedures that really need to be looked at and revised.
I wish we had an edit button. I am going to keep posting this until the damn lie, that we have a right to bear arms is stopped. "U.S. Supreme Court Justice Warren Burger once said, "The gun lobby's interpretation of the Second Amendment is one of the greatest pieces of fraud, I repeat the word fraud, on the American people by special interest groups that I have ever seen in my lifetime."
We do have an edit button. It's in the 3 dots to the right of 'Collapse', below your comment.
Get the money out of politics! A Corporation is NOT a person and a rich person, or group of rich people, should not be able to buy a Congressional Seat! It would be a start except the rich politicians and judges (including those on our once supreme, now extreme court) would stop it!
They've worked to hard to buy their political seats!!!
Great ideas!!!
How does one put this into action?
We are the people!
We get together as one and can make the changes to secure the well being and happiness for all Americans. I like it.
Marilyn, I like your suggestion very much!
First, I cannot imagine the fortitude of Kagan, Sotomayor and Brown Jackson! They sit on this Supreme Court surrounded by pharisaic reactionaries who are causing the US untold damage, and deaths. Lady Justices, you have my profound admiration. It must be so hard!
Second, Guns kill. That’s it. Duh. That’s why they were created. The 2nd amendment was about nation founding militias, not giving free reign to shoot whatever whenever with whatever assault rifle. These sanctimonious Justices are evil.
Foreign countries do not need to spend time coming up with ways to destroy us; they just need to sit back and watch us destroy ourselves.
Between Citizens United, MAGA, and our own courts, we are well on our way.
Cathy, Don't leave out the cancellation of the Fairness Doctrine. That's been one of the big elements in the growth of MAGA.
The loonie-toonie Fifth Circuit needs to be tossed in a burlap sack and thrown off the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I needed that laugh.
Don't forget the cinder blocks just to make sure 😈
It's my understanding that, Mr. Rahimi AGREED TO the restraint order. WTF was the 5th Circuit doing interfering with the order in the first place?
I dropped the restraining order. My ex said “now I can buy a gun.”
Gail !!!!! And you said?
I let my feet do the talking. Right out of the door, stranding him many miles from his home.
YAY, you!!
Then, of course, it is a person’s right to walk by a Supreme Court justice’s home with an AK 47 whether or not he or she ever threatened the justice? Does the Supreme Court justice have more righted than a previously beaten and threatened spouse? Has America lost its collective mind?
"Has America lost its collective mind?" Yep.
How many lives have been saved by citizens (not military) with semiautomatic assault weapons? How many have died or been seriously wounded by citizens with assault weapons? Is that what the writers of the Constitution envisioned? Help me here: show me any article about a citizen protecting others with an assault weapon.
Beautiful. You hit the nail on the head. The pro-gun forces like to make it seem that "a gun is a gun is a gun". Not so!