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Here's the cool thing about this nutty fact pattern: The facts adduced by the reporter about the non-existent injury to the non-existent plaintiff in the non-existent case reveals a lack of jurisdiction, i.e., no case and controversy, a requirement for subject matter jurisdiction, the power of the court to even hear the case.

And subject matter jurisdiction is an issue that may be raised at any time, even after the judgment is final. The parties to a case may not agree to confer juristion where it does not exist.

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